I've been having very complex family dynamics. My mother was physically and emotionally abusive, my father an alcoholic. I got through it. I wanted to die, screamed of despair when I was a teen, my family (other members) would blame me for acting insane and ask me to stop so I don't embarrass them in front of the neighbours. They were telling me I was a bad person, I will never be loved and I will die alone. Now that I am an adult my parents want to act as if nothing has happened, my fathers calls me for money or just to chat and complain about his life. He was calling me a piece of **** everyday during my teenage years and telling me I will never amount to anything. I do now but I have to fight the consequences of my childhood - low self-esteem, inability to get into a romantic relationship, panic attacks, destructive urges, self-loathing. I underwent therapy some years ago and that got me to remember some of the things from the past that I had put deep in my unconscious. When I confronted family they said I was overreacting and I should stop dwelling on the past once and for all. They refuse to talk about this. I now told my mother I don't want to see her again. She came to my place (she left home when I was 11 or 12) and was acting as if everything is just perfect, she always does. Comes into my life once or twice a year and I have to play the game of the perfect mother-daughter relationship... It hurts and I always feel like I am the evil one, like I should just leave things in the past and act civilized, but I can't... Does anyone from you have experience with that? Does it help to cut abusive parents out of your life? I just want to feel better and to love myself and it is so hard.