Hello I know you must feel frustrated, at this time. Have you tried going to a behavior specialist for your OCD? A behavior speciality (therapist) helps to retrain your thinking and actions, when you have OCD, perhaps you just need to go to a different therapist and Dr. that works with behavioral concepts. I think there is help out there is you just look for the right person to help you, I really do, and there are medications that help as well for OCD. You do not have to suffer this much and lose hope, there is help for you. If you look on the internet under behavioral therapists in your state there should be a list of thereapists in your area, that work with behavioral therapies. If you can not find a therapist PM me and I will try to help you fond a therapist in your area. I am also going to leave you a hotline number to call for depression 1-800-273-TALK, if you would like to call and talk to someone in person. Take care sincerely Soidhonia