therapy can help you understand your feelings and your families reactions, but only your heart can tell you what you want to do about this situation. I have been there got the postcard, photo, T shirt and umbrella! I too found it impossible to forget and forgive, it was tearing me apart, I dreaded every phone call, hated having to pretend everything was fine when inside I had nothing but contempt for them. finally I decided that all this contempt and dread bubbling inside was detrimental to my health and I severed all ties, changed my phone number, stopped replying to letters etc. and after a few years they got the message that I did not want or need them in my life. Family are not always happy places and even though I still get the shocked look when I tell people I have no family contact I feel a much better person than I did when I had contact.