I am so sorry that you are feeling this way, I feel for you. If you went to see the counncellor maybe it would help and to put things into perspective. That was my problem, I hated talking about myself and how I "felt". I went to see a therapist for 6 months and when I got to know her it was a relief to talk to somebody who was objective. I do hope that you see somebody and dont make any rash decisions. Take care of yourself. Best wishes.