This is how it *should* be. In a perfect world, in a parallel universe maybe.
On earth? Nah, lots of exceptions to every rule. I wonder why we even bother making rules.

Your mother has issues, probably a lot more than you do.
What she did to you is abuse to me. Both psychological and physical.

It seems like she really enjoyed seeing how vulnerable you were, how you totally depended on her(as every kid naturally does). It's okay for her to like that, most mothers do.

But when you realize that someone *depends* on you, you have a choice; to either help them or hurt them - to do good or bad.
Your mother made the wrong call, and that's NOT because you were a 'bad boy' or a bad man now, but due to her own issues. And gymnophobia is what you 'inherited' by her.

Gymnophobia is a simulation of the fear of being exploited and hurt by women. Women are viewed as the powerful sex in your unconscious; they can 'pull your pants down'. Therefore, you need to be sure *no-one* sees you naked.
The part where you suddenly want to get naked in public is like the rebellion against your mother's power. "See? I can get naked, I'm not afraid!" It's kinda positive, but I wouldn't recommend actually doing it. Just reflect on it. It's also good that you let your wife see you naked, breaking the pattern for her means she's really important to you.

Oh, and about the wishing you were a woman:
Your mother despises all men("they look ugly naked"), hence the only way to gain her aproval is by being a woman.

Wow, sorry for the long post. I just found your problem intriguing and got carried away a little. I hope I helped somehow.

Best wishes nothingtolivefor, and I hope you will soon prove your nickname wrong.

P.s. Last I checked, naked men looked damn good. Don't let your mothers views get to you.