I'm sorry to hear you are so troubled. What you are describing is something a lot of us go through. It sounds like a type of mood swings. It also sounds like the celexa is starting to help but needs more time. Depression has a way of taking hold of your thinking, so that when you start getting better, it doesn't seem real. Talk to your therapist or pdoc. You may need to increase the celexa or add a stabilizing agent. Good luck! You do want to be happy, but you need time and support (emotional and medicinal) to get there.