Thanks for your understanding and suggestions. He does have hearing loss and has hearing aids. He just won't really use them, not unless it's something special. I might have to get him to wear them more regularly, and that might be a battle. Somehow the psychology seems to be similar to memory loss. There must be some denial and some embarrassment that makes people defensive and aggressive about it. He's too old really to go to a therapist. I thought of taking him to mine and might still, but I don't think he would be willing or able to use this as a resource. Instead I might take him to my own under the guise of "couples counseling" so we can get our communication more clear and less problematic. I think being away from home for a whole two month in different places made things harder on both of us. Perhaps now that we are home, he'll settle into the familiar and feel more relaxed so he doesn't get so angry. Also we have more space to ourselves and our own things to do so a little bit more separation will ease the stress of this on me. I'm hoping anyway. I'll talk to his doctor about having some kind of screening for memory. They know it's a problem because recently I was put in charge of his meds because he wasn't following through correctly. It's both sad and also very frustrating. I try to be patient and compassionate, but sometimes I just want to yell back. I might check out a support group for people dealing with older people to see what they say. Mostly that is for kids of older parents who don't live with them. This is my partner so we see each other all the time. Perhaps the trips just put too much strain on that. We didn't have enough space from each other for me to take a break and for him to feel independent. What is a bit scary for me is that this might be the beginning of a serious decline. I'm not sure if I'm ready for that.