I can appreciate your dilemma, cnfused.girl. It seems like dealing with relatives always has it's fair amount of stress, doesn't it?

The focus in this situation is the children. Above all, you want what is best for them. Personally, I think it is best to keep them surrounded by people that love them and are connected to them. It sounds to me like it would be best to talk this over with your family in a calm and reasonable way and appeal to the love they have for your children. They must care about your children very much if they became infuriated when they didn't see them for a while. I believe this can be worked out because everyone involved values your children.

The other thing to keep in mind is you are teaching your children about relationships. Whatever you decide to do, they will learn to resolve relationship problems similarly when they get older. Would you prefer for them to learn to cut off contact when problems arise or for them to make every effort possible to reconcile disagreements? This is a great opportunity to teach them that difficulties with others can be worked out. I believe your family has been unintentionally cruel and just need to be reminded that the children should not be punished for disagreements among adults. Sometimes people just react without thinking about all the ramifications involved. A discussion about this can prevent it from happening further in the future and maybe even open a conduit for all of you to talk through other issues if you can keep things peaceable.