You're not alone Breanna!

I'm not sure if you want any advice, or what kind you are wanting, so I am going to try to refrain from that.

But there's a lot of us here who have had a huge amount of experience: there are members who also have hallucinations and delusions, there are members who struggle with thoughts about violence, there are members who have had their first manic episodes when young, there are members who can't remember a time in their life where there weren't signs of the the bipolar, and there are a lot of members here (not just bipolar members) who have suffered through abusive lives as well.

There are a lot of people who you will be able to relate to, ok?

Are you on medication to try to help?