You cannot accomplish a path breaking, great task all at once or alone. Break it down into steps and then break down the steps into smaller steps. Perhaps one of the first things is to work at building your self esteem and getting rid of the negative voices. I would try some therapy and identifying and getting involved with others who are on their own, similar path. What you are going to do on top of the mountain is yours, but might as well climb it with others going the same way?