Quote:
Originally Posted by Bark
I was going to post about how I'm not motivated to do much—including replying. But I had to say that I'm glad you're still here. I'm glad the attempt failed. I don't want to imagine you no longer posting on this thread. I know it hurts, I really do, but you have to stick around. Feel free to PM me anytime; I apologize in advance if I take a while to reply, but trust that I'll have read it as soon as I saw it. And please, please don't let that reply go unread.
We're a bit alike, you know; I can relate to so much of what you've written. You can call me selfish, but I don't want to lose you or anyone else here. Life's hard enough without knowing that one of your friends is gone forever. This goes for all of you. I know the pain can be too hard to bear, but you've gotta.
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Thank you Bark. I still don't know whether I can stand it anymore. I am tired of fighting, I really am. T is telling me that maybe somewhere inside me there's a little bit of hope, but I'm not so sure myself. I don't think you're selfish, instead, I am. I am selfish for wanting to leave... and causing everyone else around me pain.
I'm sorry if this is too triggering :/ I don't feel like my pdoc and T understands me.. whenever I slip into a crisis the first thing they'll suggest is to admit me like as if hospitalisation solves everything. No, it exacerbates everything. What for be hospitalised when in the end I won't be understood? What for be stuck in a "safe" place when in the end I have to lie in order to be discharged?
I'm really really tired. Nothing is working. Nothing is ever going to work. Sigh.
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"The is no better exercise for the human heart than reaching and lifting others up." - John Holmes
herethennow: This ward is a prison!
Wardmate: No.. here's not a prison. *points to brain* Here is.
dx: recurrent MDD.