well thank you for the reassurance I just need to get better at hearing those who are close to me talk about it. For instance, I was getting dinner with some close college friends of mine last night, and found out one of my best friends had done mushrooms a couple of times, something I didn't know. And as he was describing it, I just got silent, just thinking wow, even he has tried them? What are some ways I can calm myself and just take it as any old conversation? Maybe ask him how it was? What it was like? Even though I don't want to know any of this.