I do not know how long you have known him and he, you. Presumably you are aware of each other's personalities and styles and will work on communication. I would learn to ask him for what I would like from him ("would you hold me please, I'm feeling anxious") and otherwise let him think and believe how he wants, there is no right or wrong way to love and be loved, if you do in fact love the other instead of the idea of their being there for your purposes or loving you.

There needs to be a lot of "we" in marriage and I hope you two have that. When I married (just turning 39 years old) I sent my husband a card right before the ceremony through the Best Man with a joint joke; it said, "We're in trouble now!" It's supposed to be a joint experience, marriage. My husband did not understand my need for therapy but when I asked him how much he would pay for me to be happy and healthy he immediately answered, "Every last penny I had!" In my experience, understanding is very nice but is not essential where there is love and trust on both sides. If you don't think you and he have that, I would not marry at this time.