I guess I was being too general to be understood completely. First of all we were together for a month in Amsterdam so we had to coordinate much more than at home. There were so many misunderstanding that caused outbursts on his part (in public) that it became really difficult to manage or even figure out how to correct. Written communication in these contexts doesn't really seem feasible. It sorta a situation that you just say something and ask the person to wait at the taxi stand and then when you appear back they are in a furious outburst because they don't know where you've been. I thought maybe it was being in a foreign city that is confusing and disorienting, but it happened today in a such a simple way. I was concerned that his doctor hadn't filled his medications and concerned that he didn't seem to want to deal with it even though he's been low or out for a while which is dangerous at his age. I told him that we needed to go to the pharmacy and see if she had called them in, that I would take a shower so he should get ready. I heard through the bathroom door his almost crying tone that he didn't understand anything, which he repeated as if in a meltdown. I came out to see what was going on and it turned out he hadn't heard that I said I was going to take a shower so he had rushed to get ready, searched around the house and couldn't find me so started to almost to cry and was also angry. You don't write down that you are about to take a shower. This was a relatively minor episode but it illustrates the ongoing problem in a simple way. I think he is having some psychological issues in addition to the age-related problems. But at age 88 I really can't see him going to therapy. We do have to work on communication but part of that is a surprise to me because he seems to say yes when I tell him something only to find out later that he hasn't heard so he gets all upset and a fight or meltdown ensues. He is showing dependency needs as well which puts an additional strain on the whole thing. If he is losing the ability to take care of himself, but can't communicate about it or hear what I say or remember I don't know how to improve communication.