Oh my goodness. Since my T and I have been slowly delving into this, I have gotten books from the library, and bought books, and audios and e books for the kindle. I can't stop. It's like I finally realized what had happened and that others have gone through it and people have written about it. I sooo understand and sympathize. My T did suggest I do some reading, but I don't think either of us realized what the result could be. I hope you can work this out to a place where you can be balanced in caring for yourself and learning.
(((((((hugs)))))))