I'm new here - I joined two months ago, but chickened out in posting anything....I just bookmarked the site, saying 'I'll check it out sometime' which is Devlinese for 'I'll never look at it again'. Tonight I got up the courage to try reading some of the posts. I had to post even though I couldn't read any more as I'm too overwhelmed.

I've recently been diagnosed with Bi-Polar Disorder and PTSD with physical symptoms. I'm seeing a therapist and a psychiatrist. I'm on three meds for deep nerve pain as well as a list of other symptoms and another one which is an anti-depressant.

My family and I have suffered nearly every conceivable trauma and the hits just keep on coming. I think I've forgotten how to feel. I cry only a couple of tears and only on a strictly scheduled time. I have heinous thoughts that come with excruciating pain and I can't rid the thoughts so the pain keeps coming until I pass out.

I'm terrified to read on here. I'm afraid of this being real.
My name is Devlin James. I'm a doped-up poet. Can anyone relate to who I think I am?