I am in so much pain right now I don't know how to stop it. seems like the old memories are a floating and I just cut, want more. Sounds sick and I don't like to discuss it. i am in pain and I am anxious and I don't know what else to do. I want to do more but of course I don't. I think all I want is control. i am going through a rough spot in my life to say the least. I had big scalpels in the drawer and now I can only find one tiny one. Hubby? He didn't let on? I don't know what to do right now. It hurts. This tiny scalpel went about 1/2 inch deep for a puncture only. I want to heal. I want to be healthy.