I don't particularly see these things as traumatic. I'm not entirely sure that this sort of isolation I describe is actual inability to function... it does not actually prevent me from having good friendships. I think it may hamper the development of a close bond and equal trust with a partner, but I am honestly not completely sure.

As far as why I don't feel I should or can discuss this with my friends, it isn't really my benefit I'm concerned about exactly.

I think, if a friend of several years came to me and said that they felt isolated even when we were together, I would likely feel a bit hurt. Not personally. But more... hurt that my friend hurt and at that point it was obvious I wasn't enough to help that.

I obviously can't know what their reaction would be, but my friends are pretty awesome which is why they are my friends. I can only estimate what their reaction might be, but I think my guess is close.

I don't wanna do that.