I had been doing better for the last 6 weeks or so after SAD and various circumstances latched onto me in September/October. SAD tends to catch me by surprise earlier and earlier each year, and by December sometimes I'm pulling out of it already but still very vulnerable whether I am aware of it or not.

Anyway, I crashed a bit last night. I came here and almost posted asking why I should care about being safe because I just felt like I deserved to hurt. I decided not to post, because I ought to be able to find my own answers to that, and not inflict my misery on others. I took a bubble bath and read books and didn't get to sleep until like 4:30 a.m., and part of what kept me going was the thought of being able to report that I didn't give in to what I wanted to do.

I didn't feel like getting out of bed this morning, and I have to hit the road now because we're moving and have closing on the new house tomorrow. Friday is moving day. I'll check in as I can. Looks like thoughts are still a bit jumbled - this doesn't look all that coherent. Anyway, I've got a lot to do, no energy, but I'll be around when I can. I'm glad that at least I can take you guys with me when I move. I'm afraid I might lose some of the most important people I counted on being able to maintain friendships with.

Rap