My wife has been diagnosed 3 years ago with bpd (borderline personality disorder). she refused then and still refuses to get help. we are at the point were she is tearing our marriage apart with her actions. I tell her that when she does these things she devalues our marriage and puts it in trouble. the other day she started to ask the question why do I do this why am I this way. we have talked about our marriage problems and I gave her the boundary of "if you want to stay involved in my life you will seek help for your disorder". I think this may have been a mistake. at this point was I wrong and our marriage is over? or have I finally made a healthy choice for both myself and my wife? I know you can not force someone to change but I can no longer live like this. at the same time I feel guilty for wanting normal life and feel like I am the bad guy for wanting to leave at times.

Please help

Brian