Life....and BPD in particular...is filled with constant ups and downs, never knowing exactly how you're going to feel next, and I know it can be very, very scary when you feel as though you've reverted to a previous bad state..... Don't let fear or anticipation of the worst get in your way. We often fear something and inadvertently make it come true because of our very actions to prevent it. I KNOW it's not easy, but hang in there, use distraction techniques, practice mindfulness, treat yourself with compassion, and you'll get through it...and we'll be here to help.