Perna, Suzy5654, et al:

Sorry, folks, I have been preoccupied with a health problem, but now I have put it away for a month or two. I have tried to establish a wall to keep the health concerns out of my mind--is that a boundry?

Several people here have expressed an interest in establishing good boundries...Perna defends herself against negative comments (she speculated that a mean step-mother was the original cause of defensiveness) but maybe as an adult, she is still building too many walls...maybe? She feels she has to ask people too often how they are feeling in order to know where they are coming from (and to defend herself against negative comments?.) I wonder if asking questions is a problem. Don't you have to ask how they are feeling to know what is happening?.

Suzy5654 said she is labled as passive by her doctor and that is, in part, she thinks, of concealing anger. Exposing herself to others is scary and may make her uncomfortable when interacting with her husband's co-workers. These feelings of not wanting people to get inside of us (or wanting people to get in) are part of our boundries issues, I'd guess.

Can we come up with some suggestions about dealing with these problems? I'll try to do better about staying with all the posts coming in.

drclay