Well, the visit with doc really sucked, she is quite angry with me and my PTSD reaction to her and the pain thing. She said I chose to react the way I did and seemed borderline to her. She claimed that her nurse has been on the phone on many occasions for long periods with me and I told her this was untrue. She stated that she would not take phone calls and doesn't return phone calls but that I would have to make an appointment and go in with any concerns. I was made out to be a royal B and demanding. The reality is that I spent two weeks on the phone with them trying to get daughter's Thyroid meds changed and that pissed the nurses off because they had told me that she was:"normal" I was trying to see what side of normal as she was still very ill. Doc ended up increasing her thyroid. Anyway this doc looked really upset and tired and kinda like she had bent over backward for me and I was being a pain in the butt. Angry too, that was obvious.

She told me that I could chose a different way for my brain to handle PTSD triggers. Okay, so I will flip a switch and be able to handle triggers just fine. That easy. Man I am so out of it I do not know what to do. I can't stand the situation and yet I am vulnerable. I need to find a new doc but live in a small community where there are very few. So then it's maybe putting up with the evils of there knowing I have a trust issue and just pushing through. They don't want me to call when daughter is off 1.5 hours away and ill? She needs close monitoring for blood work. I am hurt, confused, angry with myself, self destructive, you name it. Here is this pretty young doc sitting there telling me I am acting borderline and that she was going to lay down the way it was going to be. arghhh, think I'll take a ride off a cliff, oops, no life insurance to leave my family. Not a good move. How can people be so dumb sometimes? Self centered? errrrrrrrrr