... and calm my mind and body down if I can't meditate? Meditation reminds me of my mum and I just can't do it, I can't listen to that type of music or meditation cds... Somehow I need help relaxing so I can sleep and stay asleep. Any ideas?

Oh and yer I'm fighting a high, have been all year. Upped my meds the other week (seroquel 450 to 500 on Abilify 20 as well). Been upping my meds every few weeks all year so far.