(((((MJT))))), oh hush, you're not a douchebag and you're not whining. Getting it out is why we're all here. I've been in therapy for a long time, and I don't really anticipate stopping it soon. I've got a long way to go before I get it all together. I really am sorry I made a flip remark when you are so obviously hurting.

Therapy really does help. I've been told by my therapist that I truly have had a bizarre life, full of traumatic events. The most recent occurred in February. One thing that really bothers me is that the dreams have increased since February. Glimpses of people, seconds of conversation, that's all it takes to trigger me. I have to be really careful what I watch on tv and this just happened in the last six months. Cumulative trauma, I expect.

I have good days, okay days, and lousy days. I argue with myself, I criticize myself for getting lost in thoughts and memories that I cannot change and really don't want to recall.

I just try to do my best. I try to keep myself calm. I try not to criticize myself. And I feel for you, MTJ, I really do. I've got plenty of lemons but don't quite have the perfect recipe for lemonade.