Wow...HUGE thanks to you all...I feel less stress about my decision now!

Anika, to give you more background~ I don't know for sure if I am BP1 or 2. I suspect I am BP1 at this point now that I have read a lot and done some sifting through my past. I have experienced mild psychosis on the manic side and I have been delusional on the depressed side. I never asked Pdoc the firm diagnosis though. I guess I am afraid at some level. I have never been hospitalized, I somehow keep myself in check by staying away from people when I am at the peak of a cycle.

My BP has been unchecked since my diagnosis 11 years ago. I ignored it until Jan 2013 when I completed my last episode. I vowed (to myself) to get things in check and change my life. I was put on lithium and have been stable for 9 mos. During that time I have been going to therapy weekly group DBT, and a private sessions too. I have overhauled my sleep routine, eating and lifestyle. I feel like I am up for the "fight" now, whereas before i was uneducated, broken, and had zero coping tools. Lithium allowed me to get my life straighten out but it is also making me fat which is counter-productive since I am now pretty bummed about how i look. Instead of becoming depressed, attempting a med free life (except my PRN benzo) is what I am trying. I don't know if I will be successful but I want to try my best. If it doesn't work, I will be asking for a different, weight-neutral med.

I thank you all immensely for your input. Knowing what to expect makes me feel like I am prepared for the bumps that may come. I just hope they are small bumps and not mountains : ).