(((((((((Jacq))))))))))))
I'm sorry - this time of year really sucks doesn't it?
I do know how you feel, when I start feeling happy I'm confronted with the idea of "was I ever really miserable to begin with, or was I lying or overexaggerating?".
Trying to be used to and accept being happy is hard work -- getting used to one thing and then trying to change things can be really weird.

Contact me if you ever want to chat.