4 days now since stopping cold turkey the Diphenhydramine HCL abuse.

Sleeping has improved. I have actually had some pleasant dreams and not violent ones.

Appetite and eating seem to still be an issue. I am eating, but only after a slow convincing before each time I try to eat.

I am going to make an appointment with the doctors to hopefully have a blood test done and to mention the allergy med abuse and my continued paxil use and how I feel since stopping the allergy meds.

Its 7am. I Am going to have some fruit for breakfeast and maybe some cereal, which are the only things that seem to be somewhat appealing to try and eat right now.

I do not have work tonight so I am free today for whatever I need to do. I'd like to go the beach again this morning, I have a few packages to send out from the post office and I should make that appointment I spoke of above. The beach desire comes after yesterdays experience. Got out of work at 6am yesterday and decided to make a visit to the beach. I was feeling extreme anxiety and at some points, for seconds panic and very irrational thoughts such as a complete non-understanding of life and my life. I was aware that they were irrational thoughts so that is why I went to where I thought I could gain some solace.

The humidity was gone, and there was not a cloud in the sky. It was now about 7:15 and the sun had already come up but it was still very early in the day and very quiet. The presence of very few people, whether they were fishing, laying on towels or with their spouse, was actually comforting to see. This opposed to how some people in my condition at the time, I would think would only want to be alone, but I could be wrong.

So, for about a half hour at the most I stayed there and did some stretching and yoga type relaxation which I have learned and experience to be helpful. I have done this at work during breaks, albeit the work surroundings are definitely not the setting that the beach is.

Do not know why I am going on. Just felt ok to do?