awwwwww, (((((((((((((((((Jan)))))))))))))). My heart just aches for you. I wish I had an answer. I go through the same thing for the same reason, but with expressing anger. After nearly a decade of therapy, I still haven't solved it.

Why don't you come on over and we'll cry together. Maybe that will make it less scary. I promise I won't hurt you for it.

Love you,
Candy