I really struggle with my self-esteem and hating myself. I want to be different, but I don't know how to do that anymore. When I have a bad day, I make cuts and scratches on my skin. When I feel really bad, I just lay in my bed and cry. Sometimes, I really want to hurt myself. I feel urges, but I'm usually able to resist them. I don't know what's wrong with me, but I think I might be depressed. I know I need help, but I almost don't want to feel better. I don't really have any reason to want to feel better. I'm nothing.