Thanks for your reactions, appreciate it.

First day started okay, but it got really hard in the end, feel so different from the other people in class, and like being trapped in there, just wanted to run outside. It felt all too much like last year...went home totally mixed up, feeling suicidal and couldn't stop crying for some time..was on the verge of giving up.

Decided now not to go to the camp days, but give this another chance when classes start next week.