Quote:
Originally Posted by growlithing
The problem is that I literally have no love for myself or my body because I feel so ugly all the time. I hate who I am so much I can't look in a mirror. Sometimes looking in a mirror upsets me so much, I want to SH on my face. I won't do that because I don't want the scars but that is how much I hate looking the way I do. I get so angry because it looks like my mom.
My parents did come from bad parents. The trouble is that if I try to rationalize it, I start blaming myself for the abuse. I start thinking that the reason I was abused was because I was a bad kid and that I am pathetic for feeling the way I do.
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Hey. pls understand, you were NOT a bad kid. You were abused because your parents were abusers. You need to repeat this to your self everyday, until you truly believe that....coz that's a FACT.
If you have depression, (which it sounds like), please consider therapy.
You need to shut your voice which constantly criticizes you. Without that, you'd never learn to love yourself. Just like we share a relationship with others, we also share a relationship with us. There's a little child inside you, scared of all the abuse, which has stopped developing emotionally.
You need to give your inner child a hug and tell that it's okay....whatever it is, you both will tackle it together.
Currently you are telling your inner child that she is ugly, because she looks like her mother. She needs to change her voice to become more acceptable.
I wish to tell you again. The problem is not your looks. The problem is you are hurting inside. That's what you need to address.
Basically, dear, you are abusing yourself.
Stop that! You deserve love. You deserve admiration. You deserve a little pampering. You deserve all the care. Because you
are special. Treat yourself the way you deserve to be treated dear!
I have a request for you. Please open a notepad. Jot down 10 things you like about yourself.........could be anything....like you cook well, you have a good smile....etc. Write 5 things you don't like about yourself....maybe body, looks...whatever.
Write about a life that would make you happy.....great job, good husband, good education, good house, a trip to foreign land maybe? Just write all that and think what you need to get there. Start working on that.
All that hurt, all the hatred for looks........all that it temporary....provided you address the real issue........comfort and heal the inner child in you, which is still weeping.
All the best!
