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This is pretty difficult for me to talk about or even admit. I was so close to my son for years, and well, I'm going to try to make this story short, it's a hard one for me to even deal with still, I became homeless when he was 14. It wasn't out of anything any one could imagine, not drugs, nothing but just sheer coinsodence and.. as well, if you don't have a decree in anything, it's hard to make it in this world even more so as a single mom. So, I didn't know where to leave my son, reletives were not an option, so I left him with someone I "thought I could trust, to go on, he was 14 at the time it happened. I kept close contact with him, but he was very angry and understandable. Come to find out later, as it took me near two years to get back on my feet enough to have a place of my own to live in, and he did not want to live with me. The woman he stayed with, as I thought she would be a good person and thought she was a friend looking out, stabbed me in the back and well, I think she adopted him illeagally, I don't quite know what happened, but I spend five years in the small little gossip monger town, to show my son that I love him and that NOTHING OR NO ONE would ever take that away. My son became 18, went to collage, then, quit, moved back to her house again, he refused to stay with me that whole time I was there. I have to say it was PAINSTAKING in the least, kind of like taking torture because you love someone. I had a nervous breakdown and could not think or function well for a while. But, then, as I realized, being in that town was the worse thing for me, so I ended up in a relationship with a very good man, and moved to Florida. And although my son got upset at me for it, I don't regret the decision. I am much happier now tho I still don't understand what happened between us, how it happened or why. (the loss of trust that he has in me, I know ALLOT of lies and rumors flew like small towns do) I miss my son terribly and I still have bad thoughts and crazy nightmares about it. I haven't gotten into all the details of what really happened because I don't need to rehash it. I am just wondering if anyone else has had problems like this. Just needing to share? How do we survive this? I can't sort it out. So all I know is to move on and enjoy the beauty I live around. But sometimes I just can't seem to get the haunting out of my mind.
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