Some problems with my insurance and after 6 months of therapy I find out my therapist isn't part of my insurance network. I have crappy insurance to begin with but out of network is worse. I'm just fed up with therapy. I owe a bunch of money and now I feel abandoned by all of it. I could get another T but the thought of restarting deters me. It all feels so hopeless.

I'm better than I was months ago, but I'm still not were I want to be. I still get depressed more than I should, along with dark thoughts associated with depression. I don't have much self worth. The meds help me function but that doesn't seem like living to me. I don't know what its like to be happy I woke up out of bed. To me life feels like a constant disappointment only eased up by moments of feeling ok.

Therapy just seems pointless anymore. I guess I'm just losing hope in getting better and settling for just dealing with life. Not sure what to do. Just want to sink in a hole and be alone.