I was running from this for a while, and today it hit like a ton of bricks. I'm sad and hopeless and hating myself all over again (after a few weeks of a break from the heaviness of it all). It's raining and I want to go for a bike ride (just got "new to me" bike recently after not having one for 2 decades). If it were not lightning out, I would probably be out right now... I love the rain. It's relaxing and makes everything better.