In general I don't get to emotional on the surface. I've been describe as stoic and manly. That is not to say I deal with thins well all of the time. Instead of getting emotional and clinging or crying out for help I tend to isolate myself and push everyone away.

I looked at my insurance and today they listed her as a network providor. Maybe I can keep going. It has been since febuary that have been seeing her and they assured me she was on thief network. Lastweek they re-submitted the paperwork to be a network providor. I guess it all went thru but I don't know if they will fix my bills. Her office hasn't sent me a bill since march.

I think having kids gives you a reason to hang on and maybe provides a sense of completeness to life, but I doubt children will cure depression. I don't think when my child is born in march that all of this will go away. I do think I am much less likely to end things having a child. I couldn't do that to them. Having a parent kill themselves would mess someone up for life and I am sure no matter what they will blame themselves. In a way it is good for me that it is happening, but I don't think it will make me less depressed or happy with everything.