Quote:
Originally Posted by Edda
It actually hit me like a sledge hammer...
I have been quite aware of my black and white thinking for some time and frankly I can't see it change - people are either amazing or an abomination. No surprise there but while someone I love and trust can turn into my worst enemy if they hurt me, it never, EVER works the other way round!
I guess I'm talking about significant people in my life - I'm not saying that I'm unable to overcome prejudice.
What I'm saying in that - fundamentally - I am unable to forgive, unable to forget.
I'm shocked. It feels like some gruesome disability or being downright evil and even cursed.
Still, this IS my reality. I cannot recall one single instant where I was able to restore a loving, supportive friendship/relationship with anyone who hurt me. I loath them, genuinely and deep in my heart I wish harm to them.
Does this make me a bad person? Oh, don't answer that... :/
Any thoughts?
Edda
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They way I look at forgiving is this: If I don't forgive someone that hurt me, and I'm not talking right away forgive while the pain is fresh, but after the pain subsides forgive. If I don't forgive them, I'm giving the free rent in my head, and my heart.
Forgiveness is not about them. It's not for the other party to feel good. Forgiveness is the final act of us letting go of our pain and our hurt. We, in my opinion, cannot move forward, unless we let go of our past. Try driving your car when the bumper is tied to a big rock, you aren't going to go anywhere, but untie (forgive) the rope from your bumper, and your car shoots forward.
Forgiveness is about growth. It's about moving on. It's about letting go. I held a lot of hate in my heart at times in my life, but the only person I was making miserable was me. It used a lot of energy to maintain that hurt and anger, and hate, but once I finally realized what I was doing, and how much it was hurting me, I let it go.
Is it easy? Hell no!!! But it was something that I had to do.
I hope you can take something away from this. I know I can get long winded, but it is what it is. I do wish you the peace of letting go Edda.
Always
Jeffro