I'm really sorry to hear about this. Perhaps your father had his own issues to deal with too. I can't ever imagine not loving any of my kids no matter how messed up they might be. Your sister sounds like a trip too. I hope you do get support from your husband and his side of the family. I come from a messed up family too. It's unfortunate but it helped me become a good parent because I never want to be like my parents were.