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Old Sep 04, 2013, 05:02 AM
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herethennow herethennow is offline
Poohbah
 
Member Since: Mar 2013
Location: RJAA!
Posts: 1,006
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bark View Post
Didn't sleep properly because I travelled halfway across the world. Taking my meds was skewed too. Probably is affecting my mood. Maybe I'll feel better tomorrow.

But now I don't feel like doing anything, it feels like there's a weight on my chest, I've realized just how bad my memory is (I accidentally deleted nearly all the photos from my trip and only realized that after I arrived back home, among other things), and I think the meds don't work anymore. I don't know. And things back home are still the same, still stressful, and now I have classes to worry about....

I feel like such a jerk for not going back and reading the posts I missed or replying to any.

I think I'll see if I can move my appointment with my psychiatrist closer. Maybe I'll talk to one of the nurses and see. I've been so lazy and unmotivated I haven't been tracking my mood and sleep, so I don't even know how they've been.

Everyone says I should focus on myself and succeeding in school. Meh. I'm not worth anything. I want to curl up in a corner and not feel anything.

Eh, ignore this. I'm rambling on and on almost begging for pity. It's pitiful all right.
Bark, don't feel bad for rambling. If you feel bad I feel bad too... you're not a jerk, really.

Anyway, came clean with pdoc about failed sui attempt. :/ despite me insisting on no hospitalisation, I'm here... again... in the same psychiatric ward. Gonna try my best to be on PC these days because it's gonna be hell here. *sigh* I feel like I've just disappointed my family....
__________________
"The is no better exercise for the human heart than reaching and lifting others up." - John Holmes

herethennow: This ward is a prison!
Wardmate: No.. here's not a prison. *points to brain* Here is.
dx: recurrent MDD.
Hugs from:
Anonymous33250, Bark, lindammarie, Nammu, online user, tigerlily84, tigersassy
Thanks for this!
lindammarie