Quote:
Originally Posted by Bark
Didn't sleep properly because I travelled halfway across the world. Taking my meds was skewed too. Probably is affecting my mood. Maybe I'll feel better tomorrow.
But now I don't feel like doing anything, it feels like there's a weight on my chest, I've realized just how bad my memory is (I accidentally deleted nearly all the photos from my trip and only realized that after I arrived back home, among other things), and I think the meds don't work anymore. I don't know. And things back home are still the same, still stressful, and now I have classes to worry about....
I feel like such a jerk for not going back and reading the posts I missed or replying to any.
I think I'll see if I can move my appointment with my psychiatrist closer. Maybe I'll talk to one of the nurses and see. I've been so lazy and unmotivated I haven't been tracking my mood and sleep, so I don't even know how they've been.
Everyone says I should focus on myself and succeeding in school. Meh. I'm not worth anything. I want to curl up in a corner and not feel anything.
Eh, ignore this. I'm rambling on and on almost begging for pity. It's pitiful all right.
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Bark, don't feel bad for rambling. If you feel bad I feel bad too...

you're not a jerk, really.
Anyway, came clean with pdoc about failed sui attempt. :/ despite me insisting on no hospitalisation, I'm here... again... in the same psychiatric ward. Gonna try my best to be on PC these days because it's gonna be hell here. *sigh* I feel like I've just disappointed my family....
__________________
"The is no better exercise for the human heart than reaching and lifting others up." - John Holmes
herethennow: This ward is a prison!
Wardmate: No.. here's not a prison. *points to brain* Here is.
dx: recurrent MDD.