well, be prepared for world ending. Venus is talking about babieeeeeeeeeeeezzzzz

I recently re-united with my friend from childhood. She has a baby. And it set my biological clock ticking.

That and other events. My grandmother studied (as a woman of 1940s) on some homemaker high school (don't laugh), She has this handwritten cookbook... and I recently added some proven recipies there, as it's "family recipes". And I was thinking "who is gonna use this if I don't have family".

I always though I am gonna be single and fun do gooder and die rather young either cause of I went on some Africa trip and **** went down.... or cause of my erractic lifestyle.

But maybe I really wanna continue the geneline.

But isn't it selfish? I am messed up. Why passed on those genes?

How would I even have a kids? I am mostly into chicks. Thanks to our lawmakers I can't adopt even though i can get married. Yes, my gay friend offered we can have kids together, but he's bipolar gay bohemian... and I really don't wanna have suicidal bohemian babies (note: I am a bohemian philosopher too).

But maybe, since I know about troubled.... I could be there for my kids if they are so.... maybe everybody is bit a messed. I have good genes too. My intelligence, drivenness.... maybe they'd be okay.

And that "do I wanna bring kids into this world?" thing I always say? But maybe there's better times ahead. Babies were born in airraids.

I don't know... right now I am not gonna go out and get preggers.... but I wonder if I am being rational about it. Maybe ending up as single mother with some gay friend as potential father, my troubledness that may or may not be genetical, my erractic lifestyle (cause I can't see myself as being the typical soccer mom)...

*sigh*