Hah I like you atypical_disaster.
Thanks for your input.
"That sounds like how I react to things like that. If someone gets upset with me I get really angry/upset myself, but not because I hurt their feelings, it's because they reacted towards me in a way that I didn't like." This part is totally true. It is a strange feeling. Quite the mix of bpd and npd on our end.

I think I've struggled with NPD traits, but never left myself acknowledge them. I have problems with not feeling like people are watching me because I am so unique and beautiful. It is so hard to say that because I have trained myself to not think that. I think I deny my thoughts of grandiosity, but it certainly shows up. I have lost friends because I always chose the side that was "right" even though all I was really doing was disregarding my friends emotions. Its kind of ******, but im slowly moving into a phase where it is less appealing to pretend so much.