Quote:
Originally Posted by Atypical_Disaster
I'm a narcissist with some borderline traits, I can relate to some of this.
That sounds like how I react to things like that. If someone gets upset with me I get really angry/upset myself, but not because I hurt their feelings, it's because they reacted towards me in a way that I didn't like.
I fake empathy just about constantly because I don't feel it 98% of the time, the capability is deeply lodged in the back corners of my mind, but it hardly ever comes out.
I think the main difference between you and me is that I'm a lot more indifferent about my lack of empathy than you are. You seem to worry about it more, which most people would say is a good thing!
If empathy doesn't come naturally to you then I don't really see any problem with "faking" it. If you're not hurting anyone then why does it matter if it's "fake" or not?
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I think many people do know when empathy is fake. I personally find it breathtakingly disrespectful. I can't see how tricking a person into believing supportive yet dishonest words can be helpful.
If empathy doesn't come naturally then how about just not pretending it at all. I can accept and respect a self-aware, unemphatic narc but I shudder at the thought of being lied to. Especially when I'm vulnerable and someone pretends to care and be supportive.