Thanks M.
We have spoken a to about it. She seems to understand. In fact, now she thinks that most of our fights over the years have been BPD related.

She told me tonight that she loved me. I know she does. She hates BPD though. A friend at work recently left her boyfriend because he was bipolar. She says I'm just like him.

The real problem is that I get so irritable and angry over nothing. Going to the mall on Saturdays is a nightmare. I want to kill everyone who gets in my way on the way there, in the shops (not literally). I freak out about every little thing. Always tense around people, road rage...

That is what's driving her mad. She is chilled and just wants a happy, simple life. I'm a dreamer, a mad, passionate musician who spends 1/3 of my life railing against the world (I'm an atheist in a religious city, etc etc), 1/3 sad about all manner of things, some big, some small. And 1/3 feeling pretty happy all the way up to euphoric at a piece if music, nature, mankind's indomitability. Then I'm depressed by mankind's stupidity.

I am in limbo right now though. I doubt everything I'm thinking and feeling. I doubt who I AM. But I'm hoping the Pdoc can help me there.