I too think about death alot .. and i too wonder if my husband dies what i will do. i think about like if I were to die i would not have to suffer anymore. But I must live , i have two children and a good husband. i would never act on it, but I dont mind if its my turn to go. Ive had a good life. Instead I am trying to be thankful for each day and to embrace each smile and kind word that comes my way.