That's a good one, sunsun.
Does your T know how terrified you are? I don't know about you or what kind of relationship you have with your T, and what kind of person you are (those things have a great deal to do with it) - but for me, I divulge everything to my T because she is there for me and if I'm not honest she can't help me. I don't always want to tell her stuff. Sometimes I don't want to say anything. Hell, sometimes I don't want to show up at all. But I like the idea of writing stuff down on paper. Takes the edge off. I may have to use that sometime.