My mice story.
Noticed one day, my bin bag, in the kitchen, had holes in it, me , thinks, strange. There was tea leaves, from a teabag, scattered on the floor. Me thinks, even stranger. Me gets worried. Dismiss it, I must have dropped a teabag, like you don't. Me worried more. Then, next day, saw the back end of a moving thing. Too big to be a spider, ha ha. Definately a body, but no tail, I remember. It scurried that fast, maybe with its tail between its legs, anyway. Freaked out, as I watched it run behind my cooker, I made a cup of tea. Don't we always make a cuppa, in a crisis ? I digress, as ever.
Me, makes tea. However, inhumane it sounds, but I couldn't chase the mouse behind my cooker, so I poured boiling water there. Like it was going to sit there, arms waving, belly up, just for the chase. Oh yeah, it sits there, while I baptise it with scalding water ? Hardly ! So not going to happen.
Paranoid at seeing my univited guest, I researched 'mouse' and ways to trap. Then , the little fkr, was seen, by me, leaping on the kitchen sides, along the w.machine, the lot. Freaked, that was me, freaked out. So not funny. I then adopted a new approach. Every time I entered the kitchen, by now, as little as possible, I yelled something first, before entering. Logic thinking, who's scared of who ? Now 3 weeks had gone on. 3 weeks and I knew it was laughing at me. My neighbour got me a trap. Peanut butter. Blonde here , me , sets it up. Peanut butter, trap placed. All set. Now me thinks, how do I get the freekin' thing out , once trapped ? See, that's me, thinking ahead. Err, I don't want to see it in the trap. Dead/alive/waving/thumbs up/zumba dancing or chillin' by the fridge. The mouse still had the last laugh. It ate the bait, and fkd off ! Somehow, escaped the trap. To this day, I wonder.... Is it dead somewhere, behind cooker/freezer/cupboards ?
How did it escape trap, yet took bait ?
Did it simply cordially, leave the premises when asked ?

Dear Lord, please don't let me one day, find a smelly body.