I broke up with my ex over half a year ago now, but I was the one that had trouble letting go of the relationship. I felt very betrayed at one point and wanted to know if he had fallen in love with someone else before I broke him with him (hence, the brake up). I now realize I could've been more mature about it and accepted that he had and just didn't want to take it there.

I didn't try to harm him nor did I plan to, but I was showing up at our apartment to confront him about what I suspected. Unfortunately, we had sex two of the times I went over our apartment (we had it leased in both our names for a few more months). I had been with him three years and had known him for three and a half at that point and felt that the way he went about handling this was a slap in the face. At my lowest point I signed into his accounts. Feeling ashamed, I told him what I had done and that I was sorry.

Looking back on that, I feel very ashamed and embarrassed, because I should have had more respect for myself, even if he didn't honor me as his partner of three years the way I thought he would if he fell for someone else. This being my first lt relationship with a guy and him being my first legit love wasn't an excuse. I sometimes wonder if he has a restraining order against me for fear of me coming back (can someone get one without the restrained in question's knowledge anyway? I think it's probably rare, but I wouldn't be surprised if he managed it, lol) or if he has a weapon because perhaps he feels it's something he needs in my case since the last time I saw him, he hid a knife in his dresser for protection, supposedly to use against a stranger if one broke in. That was a wake up call for me.

It's been over half a year, and quite a year at that, but I can confidently say that I have made my peace with it. I learned a lot from my mistakes, and from life in general because of that. If your ex has managed to perhaps re-evaluate his life to understand and accept the reality of what happened, that what you two had is over and that the circumstances do not change anything (I am beginning to realize that in life, they hardly ever do), then you should be alright. From personal experience, my ex is the furthest thing from my mind, he has been for a while now. Perhaps your ex has stepped back and taken a look at the bigger picture as well, and decided to abandon his unresolved feelings toward you.

Hope this finds you well