Hi tinyrabbit, just my two cents worth, love you, no matter what, you are worthwhile. Easier said than done, I know, and lots of work. Take baby steps here, and you may see how good it can make you feel. You can write them letters, poems, etc and then give or not give to your family, whatever works for you. I wish you the best as you try to figure out a happier way to live with all this!!!!