(((((Candy, Bebop, DocJohn))))) (((((Pat,Wise,LadyD))))) (((((January, Septmorn)))))

Thank you all for the support and caring.......I went to therapy today, only my second time seeing him and he is very nice and I know he is stepping easy with me but I do think it was probably a good choice for me to start therapy.........thank you for the gentle nudges in that direction. It was not an easy thing to do and is causing a big firestorm with my exhusband but a big reason I chose a therapist out of town is because of the system here and way things work.....so I drive 45-50 minutes each way but is the only way to do it. Yes, he is furious that I'm going but so far I've managed to avoid the consequences.
I'm hoping that one thing therapy will help me understand is what it is about me that causes him to get so angry. I know it is me because he has never so much as spanked the kids when they were growing up and he is involved in several businesses, clubs and relationships and seems to do just fine, it only seems to be just me. Ideally for me I always wish that he would get married again but he swears that it will never happen because if he wanted to be married he would still be married to me. But I know that must sound selfish of me.....and I really already do my best to avoid any situations with him and even communication of any kind but when he gets very angry he seems to find a way. I have file folders full of phone records, court proceedings, police reports, etc. have been through 2 lawyers.

My continuing health problems,my exhusband, not sleeping well, finances and now the holidays which I dread so much are what has been a big factor in my major depression. I really am trying to hang on to needing to live for my kids but.........well, I'm trying and again thank you for caring.