I think I'm in denial about having depression. I have bulimia and I know I do because food tortures me but I've also been diagnosed with anxiety and depression. I just find it hard to believe I have a real illness and feel ashamed and embarrassed. I don't sit everyday miserable but I generally hate myself and avoid people and have isolated myself because I worry about what people think about me. I also have thoughts about killing myself a lot but I wouldn't do it.
My psychologist says I need help but I think I am 'normal' and its just me, I'm no different to anyone else. I've been like this all my life but in the past year its got worse again and I'm now ashamed to go to my GP as he has been signing me off work for a year and I feel he will be looking at me thinking I'm a disgrace and 'why is he not better' and there's 'nothing wrong with him'. Im very confused, I'm just hiding away and can hardly talk to anyone without feeling anxious and thinking they don't like me.
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